Pieces of the Puzzle - The Glass Castle

"I began to feel like I was getting the whole story for the first time, that I was being handed the missing pieces tothe puzzle, and the world was making a little more sense." (Walls, page 205)

It is almost laughable how analogous this statement is to past event in my life. When my father was diagnosed with cancer, it was, of course, kept a secret from me. I was ten years old, so it was understandably assumed that I would not be able to handle the unimaginable: death of a family member.

For my parents' sake, I think their plans of telling me at a later date were in vain; my older sister didn't have a normal twelve-year-old IQ, and she had the whole situation figured out in seconds. Naturally, Holly understood where my parents were coming from and only hinted to me the truth - me, with my horribly underdeveloped brain.

But when I was "handed the missing pieces of the puzzle," the "world [definitely started] making a little more sense." I was devastated that my father was ill, but I had mixed feelings. I felt naive, lied to and fragile - as if I could easily be broken and therefore had no right to be told the truth. And if anything, this thought changed me. I became suspicious and I found it hard to believe anything that my parents told me. I was always thinking, "is there more to this than what they're telling me?"

I can confidently say that I completely undertsood what Jeannette was feeling. Though I did feel lied to, fragile, and all of those other mixed emotions, I began to understand the world a bit better. I became more mature, and I understood that from this point on in my life, I would have to grow up. I would have to look after myself and my sister, and in the end, it would only be the two of us that had one another. In The Glass Castle, this scene allows Jeannette to go under a considerable change; from that point on, she too grew up.

I am not saying that my parents are like Jeannette's, and for that, I'm grateful. What I am saying, however, is that this scene in the book made me realize - everyone can relate to Jeannette. Everyone has been lied to; though it may have been something simple, when you finally grasp the truth it changes you. It may be a positive change, or it may be a negative change. We may not have a disfunctional family like Jeannette, but we all have lied, kept secrets, and have been lied to. In the end, it's really just a vicious cycle.

What Am I Thankful For...?

Have you ever read a book that made you considerably thankful for what you have? I think many of us have, so now that we're on the same page, let me introduce a book to you. I'm going to tie the book into a few of my own personal experiences, as well. That way, I can feel that this blog will be understood in more depth.

What I first noticed about The Glass Castle (written by Jeanette Halls) is that the children seemed to be brainwashed into thinking that the life they have - constant moving, irresponsible actions from their parents, sleeping in boxes and starving for days upon end - is acceptable. It's as if the parents have told their children from time to time that everything they're doing is okay - just to cover up for their recklessness. This was hard to understand at first, because growing up, my parents were responsible. They both held very respectable jobs for the government and they were always careful for money. I always felt that their number one priority was my sister and I: they were always so good to us in the form of feeding us, clothing us and giving us a beautiful home to live in. They took us on trips and they always drove us places that we needed to go. We were able to see our friends and have them over, or stay with him. When our friends stayed at our home, my parents were always very thoughtful and treated them as if they were one of their own.

I couldn't believe what I was reading when I came to the part in the novel where the mother and father had put their own children in the back of the U-haul. My family and I rented a U-haul once. Where did I sit? In the comfortable seat in our van beside my sister. There was no huddling in the back of the U-haul, fearing for my life if the doors flew open. Sure, I worried over the fact that the doors would open of the trailer, but only because I didn't want our stuff to fall out.

The next appalling thing I came across in the book was how the parents swear - and, in an almost encouraging way - is how the mother and father allow the children to swear. My mother always, always gets mad at me if I say an inappropriate word. Seriously.

Though things went downhill with my family and I no longer speak to my father, what I am most thankful for in my life is my mother and sister. They are both rolemodels to me. They also both supported me (and continue to do so) in the darkest of times. My mother is a strong woman who doesn't let things bother her. Whenever someone would send a negative comment or insult her way, it's as if I can actually see the negativity ricochet off of her. My mom is also good to me in so many other ways - driving me places I need to go (she drove me to Westbank to get an Xbox 360 after Christmas because they didn't have any in stock in Penticton), as well as supporting me financially.

My sister is intelligent. Growing up, I can always remember my dad praising her for her outstanding work in school. (I was always making lousy marks.) I can remember them having in-depth conversations about something I didn't have the slightest clue about. I watched her apply for student loans, which required filling out a long and complicated form. Half of the words I didn't even understand, and I admired how grown up my sister has become.

In the novel, though the siblings play together, I can't really sense any close affection towards them. Jeanette admires her father, while Brian and Lori do not. Brian, under his breath, speaks of how his father has let him down on countless occasions. Lori took lashings from her mother so other children wouldn't be upset with her.

It seems that the love that is shown in this novel is fake; though there is appreciation towards others at times, no one really feels affection for the other. The children appear to be embarrassed of their parents, but they dutifully act "fake" or like "real children" in order to shield their parents from the public's eye. Is this right? Is this really an acceptable family?

I am so grateful to have a loving mother and sister, that I would seriously go to the ends of the Earth for them. I feel like that I haven't given to them in the ways they have to me. I feel as if they are too good to me. It may sound selfish, but I am entirely grateful that I do not live the life that Jeanette did. There have been hard parts in my life, but they were short, and they weren't my whole childhood.

Unraveling an Appalling Secret

It was definitely a deplorable ending to "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson. Who knew that the small town of three hundred, all approaching each other with 'good mornings', talking of gossip and "speaking of planting and rain, tractors and taxes" (Jackson, page 227)could abruptly turn on each other and stone to death the one that pulls the black dot from the box?

I have to admit: I have seen this before, in the movie "The Wicker Man" and the book "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini.

The film "The Wicker Man" conveys the same sort of idea that "The Lottery" does: a small, friendly town and a harsh, ghastly secret that isn't revealed until the end. It's all done like this in order to allow the audience to feel appalled, and no doubt exclaim, "what a twist!"

With this movie, the town has a celebration, or ritual that they follow every year. And it includes the one, same thing that the short story does: murder. It is horrible that such a festivity can occur with the death of an innocent life. As well, the only time that someone considers what the town is doing is wrong, it is when its their own life on the line. Such as Mrs. Hutchinson, who had screamed, "It isn't fair, it isn't right" (Jackson, page 234).

Conversely, the novel "The Kite Runner" has the same approach to murder, but it's not a yearly celebration. Citizens in small towns are forced to watch as sometimes wrongfully accused people are buried, then stoned to death. This is under the rule of the Taliban that such grotesque actions ensue. As well, the citizens must act as if they enjoy what they see. Connections from this novel to the short story can be made by the way of the murder (with stones), as well as the persuasion from a figurehead with authority (The Taliban, and Mr. Summers [The Lottery]).

Indifference is a word that applies to all three of these works. Under figureheads, a crowd of people will either act out of fear or apathy, loyalty or uncertainty, and commit horrendous acts. Indifference is something that is still seen today. The question is: when will someone finally stand up to what is wrong, and disown the word "indifference" from their vocabulary?